[20/?]

Craig’s heart slams behind his ribs and the thrum of his pulse drones in his ears. His limbs are heavy as lead and prickly little beads of sweat form all along his spine. And yet, he feels calm. He's comfortable and without a single worry plaguing him. It should be a bit disconcerting, seeing as he has a grand variety of things to be legitimately worried about. But as Tweek’s lips meet his own again the countless time in a short span, it’s like he devours all the anxieties and stress of the situation right out of him before they can manifest. Really, Craig can’t be blamed for being so absorbed in this moment. Tweek’s kisses are hungry and wanton, and they make him feel like for the first time in his life, he’s wanted.

“Craig…” Tweek huffs his name into his mouth, and Craig swallows it down with a needy gulp.

He doesn’t know how it’s happened, but Tweek has crawled forward and pushed into Craig forcefully enough that he’s now flat on his back. Tweek looms above him, strong arms holding himself up and heavy stomach pressing into Craig’s. He’s dizzy and lightheaded, completely out of his element, and pleasantly out of control. There are no pheromones to guide him or sway his sense of judgment, and yet he’s fully succumbing to every sensation. His hands crawl up around the back of Tweek’s neck and his fingers tangle in the hair along the nape of his neck. Tweek moans into his mouth, desperate and familiar. In a way, it’s just like before. There’s urgency between them, building and swelling, propelling them to move and touch and feel each other. But it’s not like before– Craig feels adrift at sea, unsure which way the tide will pull him. So he holds on tight and lets the push of Tweek’s tongue on his own guide the way.

“Are you okay with this, Craig?” Tweek inquires, low and raspy, as though he’s read his mind.

On the one hand, of course, he’s okay with this. He’s drowning in the air around him, swept up in the grip of Tweek’s rough hands and soft tongue. Tweek cups his jaw and kisses him slowly, almost patiently. Craig allows his tongue to roll in time with his partner’s as if he’s been given a chance to mull over the situation. He’s more than okay with this… but he feels so new, like a clumsy newborn animal trying to find balance on his legs for the very first time. He isn’t accustomed to taking the lead. But then again, it’s always been something of a routine of instinct, hasn’t it? He’s never truly been in control, so he rationalizes that this isn’t too far from the familiar. He can only whine into Tweek’s hungry mouth in response.

“It’s been so hard, Craig,” Tweek continues, seemingly taking the pathetic sounds he’s drawn out of Craig as a good enough answer for now. “It’s freaking me out… Hrngh, so many secrets. So many changes… I can’t take all this pressure. It’s making me feel insane, Craig. And you wanna know the worst part?”

Craig can only nod feebly. He’s truly unsure of what to expect by now, but his head is in the clouds and his body is on fire with the consistent touch of jittering hands against him.

“It’s this,” Tweek peels one of Craig’s hands from his neck and drags it down until Craig is caressing his low-hanging belly. “This, Craig. In here. Hngh, it’s a constant reminder, man.”

“A constant reminder?” Craig repeats on reflex, though his voice comes out low and croaky.

“Yeah,” Tweek’s eyes bulge in their sockets, wild and fixated on Craig. “It’s all I can think about. It reminds me of what I am, Craig. I’m a filthy, obedient omega deep down inside. Ha… ha, ha… I’m something to be bred like an animal, and it’s so fucked up. It’s so fucked up, man. Hrngh, I’ll keep going into heat, and… grargh, I’ll beg for more. I’ll fucking beg for this.”

He holds Craig’s hand tight against his swollen abdomen. Craig swallows thickly. His eyebrows knit together in confusion and stress.

“I thought you liked being pregnant…? You just said you liked it…?”

Craig had meant for this to come out as a challenge, but now that the words hang in the air he almost feels stupid for saying it. He sounds meek and perplexed. Tweek dips his head low until their noses bump. He breathes a few ragged breaths shamelessly onto Craig’s face and a truly unhinged expression etches itself over his features.

“I love it,” he whispers dangerously. “Don’t you get it? That’s what’s so fucked up. Haangh, that’s what scares me. I love it.”

“Shit, ow,” Craig curses under his breath as Tweek tangles his free hand into a clump of his hair and grips it tightly. “That doesn’t, ow, make any sense, Tweek.”

“No.. no, no… no,” Tweek protests in a tone that manages to be both gentle and deranged all at once. “You get it. I know you get it. I’m not crazy, Craig. You’re an alpha. I know you know that I know that you get it.”

“God damn it, Tweek, what is that supposed to mean,” Craig grunts.

“You love it, too,” Tweek rasps as if it’s a matter of fact and grips tighter until the pressure on his scalp makes Craig’s vision start to blur. “You’d do it again, dude. You’d do this all over again, like a horny fucked up dog, no questions asked because you love it, too.”

Craig squirms uncomfortably under the strength and weight of Tweek’s grasp on him. He’s fully pinned in his own bed and something cold in his stomach tells him he’s better off not fighting it. Adequate thoughts fail to develop in his mind. If he tries to spin this positively, he’s grateful that in some way they’re finally having a long overdue discussion about their circumstances. The only problem is, this is not at all the way he’d supposed it would shake out. There’s a bizarre sense of whiplash to the ordeal, between the former giddy, delicate kisses and the current ferocious, flagrant accusations. He tries to concoct a decent response based on logic and reason.

“Well…” Craig pauses cautiously. “It’s sort of presented a lot of difficulties.”

“Exactly!” Tweek practically shrieks as he smooshes the bridges of their noses together and hisses a bewildering and emphatic agreement. “It’s been so hard, Craig. Grarghragh, so hard! Ack! And why?! Because it’s how we’re hardwired, man. This fucked up shit is how we’re preprogrammed to be. It’s because you’re an alpha, and I’m an omega. Do you know how much it turns me on having to see myself looking like this, arrghargh, every day?! And then you go and say nice things to me like you want to take care of me? I can’t take it!”

“I didn’t have to stick around, you know,” Craig grouses defensively, pushing his head back hard into the pillow to attempt to get a bit of personal space.

“But you did,” Tweek continues the accusation. “Because you’re an alpha, dude. None of this is in our control! Arrgh, I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore! But every time I see this, I get so… hrrngh, so overwhelmed! I feel like, ahagragh, like… I don’t know! It reminds me that I’m a pathetic omega, and I have an alpha to take care of me, and it gets me going. It gets me going so much I can’t see straight and it’s freaking me out! Warghaugh!”

He reels back abruptly and lets go of Craig’s hair only to tangle his hands in his own as he wails. Craig takes a few heavy breaths to collect himself. He looks up and watches Tweek for a moment. There’s fear behind the crazed, manic look in his eyes. He knows he needs to say something, but he’s at a loss. There’s truth to what Tweek has frantically cried out. They truly are in this unplanned pregnancy debacle due to the simple fact of their secondary sex statuses. Craig frowns. But that’s not why they’re here in his room now. That’s a choice they made together, of their own volition, and he feels nearly insulted that Tweek seems to believe otherwise.

“It’s not just because I’m an alpha, Tweek,” he defies him firmly, even though he continues laying on his back like a slug.

“Then why,” Tweek demands and whips his head hard to the side to glare at Craig.

Craig suddenly realizes he’ll have to answer that question with complete sincerity, and it’s not something he’s had the heart to actively examine until now. He chews on his lower lip. There’s more to it than instinct-driven compulsion. On some deep level, he knows it’s far more personal than that.

“Look, Tweek. I’ve already told you I presented early. I’ve had a lot more time to come to terms with my status than you have,” he begins, unsure exactly where he’s headed with this.

Tweek makes a little irritable sound under his breath but otherwise doesn’t interrupt.

“That means I kinda have a pretty good feel for when I do things just because I’m an alpha,” he continues to explain earnestly. “I can admit it’s why I went prowling that night, and it’s also definitely why I brought you back here in the first place. Ugh. I was in a rut. You were in heat. It was pretty cut and dry. But I’ve done that a bunch of times, dude. And I’ve never stuck around with someone before. So… what I’m saying is, you can’t just tell me you’re only here with me now because I’m an alpha. That part isn’t true.”

“Grr, you’re avoiding the question, Craig,” Tweek frowns.

“Okay, well maybe it’s because…” Craig trails off, feeling the heat rise to his face as he turns away, suddenly unable to look at Tweek. “Maybe it’s just because… I like you?”

“Wh…what…?” Tweek veritably gasps out the question.

The tension in the room drastically drops at those small, simple words. Craig squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t bear to face Tweek after so plainly stating something like that. There’s no duplicity to it. That isn’t the issue. Rather, it’s the opposite. It’s raw and vulnerable and fraught with unease because if Tweek truly views their situation based on nothing more than carnal instinct, he’s exposed a tenuous part of himself with no line of defense in place. He cringes with uncertainty and regrets saying anything at all…but at the same time, he doesn’t. There’s a sort of relief that has come with putting words to his feelings for once. He knows rationally that only a beat has passed since he confessed something akin to affection, but the stress of the situation makes it seem like an eternity has passed before Tweek says anything.

“Because you like me…?” Tweek repeats the words as a question, speaking slowly as if each word is fragile.

“Well, yeah,” something about the abject shock in Tweek’s voice emboldens Craig to crack his eyes open and continue. “Why else would I spend all my free time with you? That’s not really a symptom of biological impulse, dude.”

“Mmph,” Tweek grunts and folds his arms over his chest skeptically. “But how do you know? How do you know that’s not just your fucked up brain tricking you?”

Tweek seems so frangible and insecure. It’s a stark contrast to the strong arms and heated words that assailed him only a few minutes prior. For whatever reason, the fluctuation makes his chest flutter tenderly. The fact of the matter is, he doesn’t know it’s not just his fucked up brain tricking him. More importantly than that, though, is that he’s already decided it doesn’t matter.

“I dunno,” he admits rather freely. “But it doesn’t feel like it is. That whole night… it was different, Tweek. I don’t know how to explain it, but it just was.”

He realizes he’s not making a very compelling argument here, but he hopes Tweek can at least tell that he’s trying his best. Craig pulls himself upright on the bed and arranges himself to sit across from where Tweek has situated himself. Maybe he can show him he’s more than just a stupid alpha in another way. He hates being reduced to nothing more than that, and it stings to know that there’s a chance that even Tweek only views him as his label, too. He sighs heavily, then reaches forward to place his hand once again on the bulge in Tweek’s abdomen. The effect it has on him is equal parts instantaneous and amazing. It’s very curious how something as simple as touching his mate’s full belly makes his skin feel alive and his heart feel like a cloud ready to burst. He rubs a tentative circle over the spot where his hand lays, and though he can’t find the courage to look at Tweek’s face, he can feel the slight shudder that wracks his body at the subtle contact.

“You were right about one thing,” Craig keeps going before he loses his nerve. “I do like it. Maybe part of that is because I’m an alpha. I don’t know. But I do know if all this was going on with someone else, I think I’d hate it. A lot, probably. But I don’t. I think that should count for something.”

There’s a flicker of hesitation, but then Tweek places his hand on top of Craig’s. It’s warm and that alone is reassuring. Craig takes a chance and looks up. His eyes meet with Tweek’s. It’s the dead of night, and yet they still twinkle vibrantly under the soft sheen of the tears that pool in them. They’re haunted yet hopeful all at once, and Craig feels like he’s truly seeing him for the first time. He’s more than a lustful, desperate omega. He’s more than a clingy, heavily pregnant mate. He’s Tweek. He’s bombastic and loquacious, fretful and paranoid, curious and peculiar, all jumbled together. Just like himself, Tweek’s not some entity to be solely characterized by a singular trait. He’s a litany of captivating qualities that has managed to infatuate Craig. It’s ridiculous to only now come to this conclusion and Craig feels strangely humbled. He steadies himself and dares to press on.

“Do you, uh… think you feel the same? If this were with someone else, I mean.”

“I’m not sure,” comes the meek response.

Tweek must have noticed Craig teetering on the brink of crumpling because he gives the hand below his own a deliberate squeeze.

“But,” Tweek continues, with a bit more strength in his voice. “I’m glad it’s you.”

It’s weird– Craig never would have suspected that this kind of reciprocation would make his heart soar. His face feels warm and his lips start to curl into a gentle smile that he can’t hide. All of this is so exhausting. But oddly enough, he feels good all over. Tweek laces their fingers together and heaves a tired sigh before letting his head droop forward to land on Craig’s shoulder. They spend a few quiet minutes doing little more than basking in each others’ company.

“So,” Tweek nuzzles the crook of Craig’s neck, finally daring to break the silence. “Hmm, what do we do now?”

“I have no idea,” Craig says flatly and honestly, but he plants a kiss on the top of Tweek’s messy hair. “I was kinda hoping you’d tell me.”

“Me?” Tweek chuckles sarcastically and sits up. “I can’t think about the future, man. That’s way too stressful.”

“Hm,” Craig nods. “But what about now?”

“Now?” Tweek slings an arm over the shoulder where his head once laid. “What I think we should do now?”

“Uh, yeah,” Craig starts to lose his balance and pushes an arm out behind him to brace himself so he doesn’t lose his balance.

“Ah, Craig… you know what I want to do now,” Tweek continues to shove him downwards until Craig indeed can no longer support himself and falls into his pillow with a thud.

“Tweek…?” Craig’s voice cracks but he’s too distracted to feel embarrassed.

Their legs slot together in a way that is not at all familiar. His knees bend and open wide as Tweek slithers between them and holds himself above Craig. Something in his instincts that he’s never experienced before commands Craig to loop his long legs around Tweek’s, so he does. His arms follow suit and reach over his back and lock him into place. His mind is a mess and his jaw hangs slack.

“I can’t take it anymore, Craig,” Tweek warns him softly. “I’m not gonna be able to hold back.”

Craig swallows the lump in his throat. He hears his own voice distantly in his ears before he strains his neck to lean forward and push their mouths together in an eager, greedy kiss.

“Then don’t.”